The main thing I'm focusing on is being kinder to and gentler with myself, which dovetails nicely with the idea of moving away from shame. Shame is insidiously interwoven into so many aspects of our culture, and it's a constant effort for me to work on giving myself grace.
I relate so much to the years spent “motivating” myself to change the way I eat. I am much better now at catching myself when I’m veering towards disordered eating, but in general my only guiding light is leaning into what makes my body feel good - right now that’s veggies & eggs for breakfast and lifting weights. I let everything else go.
That's awesome that you've figured out what makes you *feel* good. There's so much pressure to focus on what others think of us, but at the end of the day, we are the authorities on our own bodies.
In my world,I have a fifth F-flounder.Where response is completely out of line with anything expected."Gee it's a nice day out","what is your opinion","why?","you know you might be right"(the meaning of might,being completely open).How can I help?-Shame is based on our ability to read other folk's minds.Knowing the success rate at that,I (once I realize,I'm at it again) I'll look for the what,where and(or) why.Without a great deal of effort,I seldom lost.
I somewhat agree with you on shame being a mind-reading thing. It's definitely good to remind ourselves that we can't read the minds of others, though there are also times when other folks actively try to communicate shame to us. I like "flounder" as a 5th f! Always good to have options, haha
The main thing I'm focusing on is being kinder to and gentler with myself, which dovetails nicely with the idea of moving away from shame. Shame is insidiously interwoven into so many aspects of our culture, and it's a constant effort for me to work on giving myself grace.
Yes, kindness/self-compassion is HUGE. Great job!
I relate so much to the years spent “motivating” myself to change the way I eat. I am much better now at catching myself when I’m veering towards disordered eating, but in general my only guiding light is leaning into what makes my body feel good - right now that’s veggies & eggs for breakfast and lifting weights. I let everything else go.
That's awesome that you've figured out what makes you *feel* good. There's so much pressure to focus on what others think of us, but at the end of the day, we are the authorities on our own bodies.
And by “let go” I mean practice 😅
In my world,I have a fifth F-flounder.Where response is completely out of line with anything expected."Gee it's a nice day out","what is your opinion","why?","you know you might be right"(the meaning of might,being completely open).How can I help?-Shame is based on our ability to read other folk's minds.Knowing the success rate at that,I (once I realize,I'm at it again) I'll look for the what,where and(or) why.Without a great deal of effort,I seldom lost.
I somewhat agree with you on shame being a mind-reading thing. It's definitely good to remind ourselves that we can't read the minds of others, though there are also times when other folks actively try to communicate shame to us. I like "flounder" as a 5th f! Always good to have options, haha