Great post, Katharine. A couple things I learned recently in studying about how the purity movement hijacked the early centuries of Christianity:
-When Jesus spoke of purity it likely wasn't about sex, but rather about single-mindedness. Being purely focused the way that gold is pure and without contaminants. He was saying be single-mindedly focused, purely focused, on the one thing that mattered.
-Paul (and many others) misinterpreted this and made it about celibacy. But note that when Paul talks about celibacy he never uses Jesus as an example of someone who was celibate. (I've been compiling the evidence that suggests Jesus very like "could" have had a wife or partner.) In the centuries after Paul the church only became more and more obsessed with sex. Talk about the shadow, right?
Not to mention that so many of the purity laws of the Old Testament were about the survival of the tribe. Back then the consequences of certain behaviours (even eating certain foods) likely had much higher consequences, such as transmission of diseases that weren't easily curable.
My mother was raised strict Catholic. I was baptised and confirmed in the Catholic church, but we weren't really regular attendees. When she and my father split, all the blame was placed on her, despite the fact that he was an active alcoholic. Her Catholic upbringing guided my sex education for sure, we rarely talked about sex and certainly never in the context of pleasure. Despite attending a Jesuit university, I spiritual, not religious. When I came time for those conversations with my own kids, i was very direct and pleasure was part of the discussion. My daughter was comfortable with the conversations, it made my son's skin crawl. I try to keep open communication with both. Not sure how well I succeeded with this particular topic, but I'm comfortable that I did better than my mom.
Thanks for the comment, Lee. I think your experiences growing up are, unfortunately, very common. Breaking the cycle of shame is very difficult; good on you for going a different route with your kiddos! FWIW my 10-year-old son would rather slam his finger in the cabinet than talk about sex with his parents. I'm hoping this will improve with time.
Probably not, but do it anyway. My youngest is 18 and I can see by their actions in other areas that what I said on other topics, sunk in even thought I thought I was talking to myself :)
Great post, Katharine. A couple things I learned recently in studying about how the purity movement hijacked the early centuries of Christianity:
-When Jesus spoke of purity it likely wasn't about sex, but rather about single-mindedness. Being purely focused the way that gold is pure and without contaminants. He was saying be single-mindedly focused, purely focused, on the one thing that mattered.
-Paul (and many others) misinterpreted this and made it about celibacy. But note that when Paul talks about celibacy he never uses Jesus as an example of someone who was celibate. (I've been compiling the evidence that suggests Jesus very like "could" have had a wife or partner.) In the centuries after Paul the church only became more and more obsessed with sex. Talk about the shadow, right?
Not to mention that so many of the purity laws of the Old Testament were about the survival of the tribe. Back then the consequences of certain behaviours (even eating certain foods) likely had much higher consequences, such as transmission of diseases that weren't easily curable.
fascinating! Thanks for these insights. Are you going to be posting about purity culture on your Substack?
Yes, I hope to share it in the next few months. Will probably approach it from the historical perspective. Hope you have a great week!
I'll look forward to reading that!
My mother was raised strict Catholic. I was baptised and confirmed in the Catholic church, but we weren't really regular attendees. When she and my father split, all the blame was placed on her, despite the fact that he was an active alcoholic. Her Catholic upbringing guided my sex education for sure, we rarely talked about sex and certainly never in the context of pleasure. Despite attending a Jesuit university, I spiritual, not religious. When I came time for those conversations with my own kids, i was very direct and pleasure was part of the discussion. My daughter was comfortable with the conversations, it made my son's skin crawl. I try to keep open communication with both. Not sure how well I succeeded with this particular topic, but I'm comfortable that I did better than my mom.
Thanks for the comment, Lee. I think your experiences growing up are, unfortunately, very common. Breaking the cycle of shame is very difficult; good on you for going a different route with your kiddos! FWIW my 10-year-old son would rather slam his finger in the cabinet than talk about sex with his parents. I'm hoping this will improve with time.
Probably not, but do it anyway. My youngest is 18 and I can see by their actions in other areas that what I said on other topics, sunk in even thought I thought I was talking to myself :)