It’s so hard to know what to do - I’m right there with you.
On a practical level, I think the connection thing and pushing back against the white savior narrative is key for me - I am SO easily snared by daydreaming about how I could fix it all and it’s such a false god! So I’m motivated to stay involved in community groups (while maybe shifting *which* groups a bit), do things that maintain/build relationships (personal/otherwise) and am going to take your comment about listening to heart - really hearing what people have to say.
Another one for me is just trying to only share what I think is helpful, truthful information and to be more assertive in labeling lies.
Philosophically, I think my current touchstone is this quote, attributed to Simone Weil:
> Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.
Like - it makes sense to me now in a way that it never did before? Seeing how awful it is when people choose to seek power, money and influence at all costs; when they are motivated exclusively by their own self-interest — has really made it clear to me that one of my most important responsibilities as a human on earth is to NOT be that, and to instead, pursue the kind of goodness that Weil is describing. Or, as my therapist is fond of saying, to “not lose my humanity.”
I love that quote! Thanks for sharing it. Sometimes it seems that standing up to this monotonous, boring evil means just beating back the same bullshit over and over again. Maybe it's small, persistent actions (like those you describe) and just not letting ourselves be swept away by the chaos.
Oh this is so good. Especially for us white folks to challenge other white folks' assumptions / convenient non-truths (like about what "good schools" are and who does and doesn't attend there), and to actually build relationships and serve in ways that are needed rather than come in as outsiders with "great ideas" that aren't a good fit or "serve" in ways that make us feel like strong White Saviors rather than actually being useful...so good.
I think especially in Christianity there are so many "service" narratives that are much more about the person giving service rather than those receiving it
This is so real. I work at a direct-service nonprofit where we center lived experience AND I have been in Christian circles my whole life. It boggles the mind how strong the crusade-y church culture still is. The white churches especially want to swoop in and fix everything according to the “good news” and *none* of them have training in trauma responsive service.
This turned into a rant—I had two more paragraphs I just deleted. I have feelings about this! 😂
This is such a good insight! When things feel so dire, it can be hard to tap into curiosity, but refraining from snap judgement creates more space for understanding. I'll have to check that book out, thanks!
All great suggestions, especially #1. Have you read the book, “I never thought of it that way”? It’s written by Monica Guzman, a local (she also has a podcast). She talks about approaching ideological differences with curiosity in order to understand what leads people to believe what they believe.
I was just having a conversation with my oldest about this yesterday, because she’s casually dating around and is starting to get curious about what these guys think about certain topics that matter to her, but she has a lot of anxiety around confrontation. I told her curiosity is a great way to gain clarity without confrontation. Simply asking a question could reveal whether they have a strong opinion or if they’re just saying things without thinking too hard about it (because duh, they’re all in their early 20s).
This all came up because a few weeks ago she found out a guy she really liked believed COVID was a hoax. 🥴
Anyway, I have several reasonable people in my life across the political spectrum. One of the ways I’m staying sane is to periodically check in with them on specific things and ask what they think about something that worries me. Usually I gain a new perspective that calms my anxiety, even if we all agree that Elon is doing some shady shit.
It’s so hard to know what to do - I’m right there with you.
On a practical level, I think the connection thing and pushing back against the white savior narrative is key for me - I am SO easily snared by daydreaming about how I could fix it all and it’s such a false god! So I’m motivated to stay involved in community groups (while maybe shifting *which* groups a bit), do things that maintain/build relationships (personal/otherwise) and am going to take your comment about listening to heart - really hearing what people have to say.
Another one for me is just trying to only share what I think is helpful, truthful information and to be more assertive in labeling lies.
Philosophically, I think my current touchstone is this quote, attributed to Simone Weil:
> Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.
Like - it makes sense to me now in a way that it never did before? Seeing how awful it is when people choose to seek power, money and influence at all costs; when they are motivated exclusively by their own self-interest — has really made it clear to me that one of my most important responsibilities as a human on earth is to NOT be that, and to instead, pursue the kind of goodness that Weil is describing. Or, as my therapist is fond of saying, to “not lose my humanity.”
I love that quote! Thanks for sharing it. Sometimes it seems that standing up to this monotonous, boring evil means just beating back the same bullshit over and over again. Maybe it's small, persistent actions (like those you describe) and just not letting ourselves be swept away by the chaos.
I love this (of course!) I’m always going on and on about how the Title 1 public schools that I teach at and my kids attend are the best 😍
We've got to shout it from the roofs because there's so much bad intel out there!!
Oh this is so good. Especially for us white folks to challenge other white folks' assumptions / convenient non-truths (like about what "good schools" are and who does and doesn't attend there), and to actually build relationships and serve in ways that are needed rather than come in as outsiders with "great ideas" that aren't a good fit or "serve" in ways that make us feel like strong White Saviors rather than actually being useful...so good.
I think especially in Christianity there are so many "service" narratives that are much more about the person giving service rather than those receiving it
This is so real. I work at a direct-service nonprofit where we center lived experience AND I have been in Christian circles my whole life. It boggles the mind how strong the crusade-y church culture still is. The white churches especially want to swoop in and fix everything according to the “good news” and *none* of them have training in trauma responsive service.
This turned into a rant—I had two more paragraphs I just deleted. I have feelings about this! 😂
OMG did you see "White Savior" on HBO Max? It's just like this and it's ENRAGING
Yes!! (I write about a similar dynamic in Nice Churchy Patriarchy when it comes to fundraising / financial giving!)
This is such a good insight! When things feel so dire, it can be hard to tap into curiosity, but refraining from snap judgement creates more space for understanding. I'll have to check that book out, thanks!
All great suggestions, especially #1. Have you read the book, “I never thought of it that way”? It’s written by Monica Guzman, a local (she also has a podcast). She talks about approaching ideological differences with curiosity in order to understand what leads people to believe what they believe.
I was just having a conversation with my oldest about this yesterday, because she’s casually dating around and is starting to get curious about what these guys think about certain topics that matter to her, but she has a lot of anxiety around confrontation. I told her curiosity is a great way to gain clarity without confrontation. Simply asking a question could reveal whether they have a strong opinion or if they’re just saying things without thinking too hard about it (because duh, they’re all in their early 20s).
This all came up because a few weeks ago she found out a guy she really liked believed COVID was a hoax. 🥴
Anyway, I have several reasonable people in my life across the political spectrum. One of the ways I’m staying sane is to periodically check in with them on specific things and ask what they think about something that worries me. Usually I gain a new perspective that calms my anxiety, even if we all agree that Elon is doing some shady shit.