I really appreciate this Katharine! I have been reading through Do I Stay Christian? mostly for thoughtful perspective on my kids' concerns in this time when the word Christian signals so much un-Christian power-mongering. I've decided that 1) I'm more comfortable with the necessary mystery of faith than the average bear (and though raised in a church that raised my hackles preaching the Moral Majority back in the day, I also heard plenty about free will and "letting go, letting God" 2) I believe we are all people of faith, it's just a matter of faith in what. The essentials of Christian faith (perhaps apart from "Christian" branded politics or judgement or community) are worth claiming.
I have also stuck around, despite everything. My kids have not attached themselves to a faith, but I somewhat admire them for not floating down the river they were raised in, so to speak. I guess in not sheltering them from the world, they had exposure to all the world’s options, and they are finding their own way.
Oops, I think I just made the case for why uber conservative Christian parents enclose their kids in a Christian bubble!
LOL. Eh, you raise them in the bubble and they're likely to leave anyway? It's almost like we don't have control over what our children choose to do with their lives???
Same here to all the things you said. And, is it going too far to say it’s a hard habit to break?
When I started writing on Substack, I REALLY didn’t want to write about faith or deconstruction. But I couldn’t escape it. This is where my mind ends up guiding the “pen.”
But as I’ve thought more about the faith that raised me, I’m grateful for some of the values it taught, even if it wasn’t taught well. I’ve found a meaningful understanding of repentance and how it can help us be better people, both singular and plural. It is my prayer the church comes to a place of repentance too.
I feel you. This stuff is complex and unpacking it takes a lot of mental space, so it makes sense that you feel the need to write about it. It is a hard habit!
Thanks for this, Katharine! Oh how I feel you on this...but I'm still here with you and Jesus too. And grateful for your Christlike love for LGBTQ+ people like me.
As a pastor, I have thought about leaving plenty of times and I am sure I will again in the future. Not giving up Jesus, but giving up the institution. It's toxic but it provides me with a paycheck and the resources to try to do good things. It's harmful to so many, but then I see it do amazing things like support women trying to leave their husbands in abusive marriages or children who suddenly need a safe place to be or change whole communities for the better. So, I stick around, but I don't defend the institution, I can't do that with integrity. But I do defend the people who actually take the gospel seriously, and I think that is what really keeps me there. That and the hope that people can wake up to see the damage they are doing in the name of someone who believed in all the things so many "Christians" are against.
I'm not religious, but I have friends who are, one in ministry and one who used to be. They are both disgusted by the changes happening, but at least in the case of one of them, she isn't giving up either. I have so much respect for it, and maybe it's the only way to see that it doesn't all go to hell and people keep fighting for what they believe is right.
I might share this with my teen who regularly is bewildered by why I am still a Christian. Lol. I try to tell her I’m a witchy Christian anarchist who does daily Buddhist meditation 😆 when I’m feeling unsure or like maybe it is time to move on, all I have to do is read Brian McLaren or RHE and I remember why Jesus is still my people.
And yes! Bonhoeffer!! I also just got a graphic bio on Tolkien & Lewis. We need to stay close to the good ancestors - Dorothy day and Thomas Merton…I’ve been wanting to read “the gospel according to James Baldwin” 💞 thanks, as always, for writing!
I hear god humming isley brothers:
"It's your thing, do what you wanna do
I can't tell you, who to sock it to"
🤣
I really appreciate this Katharine! I have been reading through Do I Stay Christian? mostly for thoughtful perspective on my kids' concerns in this time when the word Christian signals so much un-Christian power-mongering. I've decided that 1) I'm more comfortable with the necessary mystery of faith than the average bear (and though raised in a church that raised my hackles preaching the Moral Majority back in the day, I also heard plenty about free will and "letting go, letting God" 2) I believe we are all people of faith, it's just a matter of faith in what. The essentials of Christian faith (perhaps apart from "Christian" branded politics or judgement or community) are worth claiming.
Love this. Thanks for sharing these insights
I have also stuck around, despite everything. My kids have not attached themselves to a faith, but I somewhat admire them for not floating down the river they were raised in, so to speak. I guess in not sheltering them from the world, they had exposure to all the world’s options, and they are finding their own way.
Oops, I think I just made the case for why uber conservative Christian parents enclose their kids in a Christian bubble!
LOL. Eh, you raise them in the bubble and they're likely to leave anyway? It's almost like we don't have control over what our children choose to do with their lives???
funny, that! We so don't have control. Who led us to believe that we did? ;)
Same here to all the things you said. And, is it going too far to say it’s a hard habit to break?
When I started writing on Substack, I REALLY didn’t want to write about faith or deconstruction. But I couldn’t escape it. This is where my mind ends up guiding the “pen.”
But as I’ve thought more about the faith that raised me, I’m grateful for some of the values it taught, even if it wasn’t taught well. I’ve found a meaningful understanding of repentance and how it can help us be better people, both singular and plural. It is my prayer the church comes to a place of repentance too.
I feel you. This stuff is complex and unpacking it takes a lot of mental space, so it makes sense that you feel the need to write about it. It is a hard habit!
Lol I feel like a lot of people are obsessing over Bonhoeffer bc Trump right now...you're not alone!
Good to know! I am getting ads about some new Bonhoeffer movie coming out?
Yeah...haven't looked into it much myself but here's one take if you're interested! https://redletterchristians.org/2024/11/22/no-im-not-excited-about-the-new-bonhoeffer-movie/
Thanks for this, Katharine! Oh how I feel you on this...but I'm still here with you and Jesus too. And grateful for your Christlike love for LGBTQ+ people like me.
Right back at you, Steve!
As a pastor, I have thought about leaving plenty of times and I am sure I will again in the future. Not giving up Jesus, but giving up the institution. It's toxic but it provides me with a paycheck and the resources to try to do good things. It's harmful to so many, but then I see it do amazing things like support women trying to leave their husbands in abusive marriages or children who suddenly need a safe place to be or change whole communities for the better. So, I stick around, but I don't defend the institution, I can't do that with integrity. But I do defend the people who actually take the gospel seriously, and I think that is what really keeps me there. That and the hope that people can wake up to see the damage they are doing in the name of someone who believed in all the things so many "Christians" are against.
Thank you for the work you're doing, Shelley. People like you keep me going
Same girl. same to you.
Thank you for this thoughtful piece. I am in much the same position, but not sure what the result of this process will be.
For sure. Letting go of the outcome is the only way to take it seriously. May you find peace in the struggle.
I'm not religious, but I have friends who are, one in ministry and one who used to be. They are both disgusted by the changes happening, but at least in the case of one of them, she isn't giving up either. I have so much respect for it, and maybe it's the only way to see that it doesn't all go to hell and people keep fighting for what they believe is right.
This articulates so well what I'm feeling.
I might share this with my teen who regularly is bewildered by why I am still a Christian. Lol. I try to tell her I’m a witchy Christian anarchist who does daily Buddhist meditation 😆 when I’m feeling unsure or like maybe it is time to move on, all I have to do is read Brian McLaren or RHE and I remember why Jesus is still my people.
And yes! Bonhoeffer!! I also just got a graphic bio on Tolkien & Lewis. We need to stay close to the good ancestors - Dorothy day and Thomas Merton…I’ve been wanting to read “the gospel according to James Baldwin” 💞 thanks, as always, for writing!
Ooh yes! Witchy Buddhist Christians unite! Thanks for these recs, definitely going to look them up
Boy do I resonate with this. Thank you.