This is something I’ve been discussing with my boyfriend. I come from a conservative evangelical background and he does not. As I continue to think through my own deconstruction I’m hitting different road blocks of fear of the secular world. It’s been drilled not only into my psyche but it seems that every fiber of my being vibrates with “be careful, Satan is lurking behind every corner.” I love how my bf provides a new perspective for me, and at the same time, as Im figuring out how to move forward and evolve as a person, it’s hard to know what beneficial things from Christianity I actually want to keep vs what things Im holding onto simply from the panic of being demonically influenced. I feel angry for being kept so shut off from the rest of the world. Angry for not truly being able to make an informed decision about what I believe, yet thankful I have the opportunity to do it now despite how hard and terrifying it feels. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on stuff like this. It helps me not feel so alone or bad for being open to other perspectives.
You are definitely not alone! I think there's an intellectual side to a lot of this--thinking through what you want to believe, and then there's the emotional side: fear, shame, etc. It's a lot to unpack, and feeling your anger is a big part of that. Take your time and go easy on yourself. You deserve all the self-compassion you can muster!
The conclusion I've come to more and more is once we remove "the afterlife" from Christianity it's a pretty mediocre operating system for life. And I'm referring to the institutionalized version of course. I think the teachings of Jesus himself, especially those focused on creating a society framed upon love and harmony, are inspiring, but incomplete. In the not so distant future we'll begin to see philosophical systems that take the best of all the traditions and blend them together. How exciting and beneficial that will be!!
Taking the afterlife out of the equation is an interesting thought experiment. So much of modern institutional Christianity leans on this "fire insurance" model, so what are we left with? And how does it compare to what other philosophies are offering? Thanks for your always interesting contributions, Bodhi.
This is something I’ve been discussing with my boyfriend. I come from a conservative evangelical background and he does not. As I continue to think through my own deconstruction I’m hitting different road blocks of fear of the secular world. It’s been drilled not only into my psyche but it seems that every fiber of my being vibrates with “be careful, Satan is lurking behind every corner.” I love how my bf provides a new perspective for me, and at the same time, as Im figuring out how to move forward and evolve as a person, it’s hard to know what beneficial things from Christianity I actually want to keep vs what things Im holding onto simply from the panic of being demonically influenced. I feel angry for being kept so shut off from the rest of the world. Angry for not truly being able to make an informed decision about what I believe, yet thankful I have the opportunity to do it now despite how hard and terrifying it feels. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on stuff like this. It helps me not feel so alone or bad for being open to other perspectives.
You are definitely not alone! I think there's an intellectual side to a lot of this--thinking through what you want to believe, and then there's the emotional side: fear, shame, etc. It's a lot to unpack, and feeling your anger is a big part of that. Take your time and go easy on yourself. You deserve all the self-compassion you can muster!
The conclusion I've come to more and more is once we remove "the afterlife" from Christianity it's a pretty mediocre operating system for life. And I'm referring to the institutionalized version of course. I think the teachings of Jesus himself, especially those focused on creating a society framed upon love and harmony, are inspiring, but incomplete. In the not so distant future we'll begin to see philosophical systems that take the best of all the traditions and blend them together. How exciting and beneficial that will be!!
Taking the afterlife out of the equation is an interesting thought experiment. So much of modern institutional Christianity leans on this "fire insurance" model, so what are we left with? And how does it compare to what other philosophies are offering? Thanks for your always interesting contributions, Bodhi.