So much about your experience resonates… the strangeness of being seen as wounded, not capable; grief manifesting as lethargy and snappiness; the inability to focus while reading. Grief is such a unique, personal experience, yet also universal - thank you for sharing this.
This is so beautifully articulated. The aloneness, the snappiness, the clutching to self-compassion. 💔
I’m reading Maggie’s book right now too. It’s just so good. And I understand the seasons where books are just too much for an overwhelmed mind and heart. Go gently, they will return. ❤️🩹❤️🩹
"Really, I think I worried that others would implicate me in his inability to overcome his addiction, like if I had just loved him enough or cared for him the right way, he could’ve found the strength to quit."
Feeling this. ❤️ Shaking my fist at our inner critics / Bill Murrays!
Thanks so much for sharing this perspective, Katy! My dad died from poor health assisted suicide (as I call when I like to make people squirm) three months into us resuming contact after having years of silence. I’d been mourning and grieving the loss of our relationship for such a long time, that when he passed I wondered if something was wrong with me for not grieving in the way I thought people expected now that my loss was truly visible.
By the by, having experienced both death and divorce I can say the parallels in grieving are strong. Adding the book to my reading list.
I'm so sorry about your dad, Rashida. I appreciate you sharing about how your grief felt different than what you/others expected. I suspect this experience is more common than we know. And glad you're going to check out Maggie Smith! You'll have to let me know what you think.
So much about your experience resonates… the strangeness of being seen as wounded, not capable; grief manifesting as lethargy and snappiness; the inability to focus while reading. Grief is such a unique, personal experience, yet also universal - thank you for sharing this.
Fucking Bill Murray.
This is so beautifully articulated. The aloneness, the snappiness, the clutching to self-compassion. 💔
I’m reading Maggie’s book right now too. It’s just so good. And I understand the seasons where books are just too much for an overwhelmed mind and heart. Go gently, they will return. ❤️🩹❤️🩹
thank you, Lindsey
Grief is love prolonged.
I liked that when I read it.
I read it in a movie review in Sight and Sound, the movie magazine, so it's probably/possibly true. I think it's true.
Kind thoughts to you and yours.
thank you, James <3
"Really, I think I worried that others would implicate me in his inability to overcome his addiction, like if I had just loved him enough or cared for him the right way, he could’ve found the strength to quit."
Feeling this. ❤️ Shaking my fist at our inner critics / Bill Murrays!
it's a lot, isn't it? Hugs to you, Charissa <3
Thanks so much for sharing this perspective, Katy! My dad died from poor health assisted suicide (as I call when I like to make people squirm) three months into us resuming contact after having years of silence. I’d been mourning and grieving the loss of our relationship for such a long time, that when he passed I wondered if something was wrong with me for not grieving in the way I thought people expected now that my loss was truly visible.
By the by, having experienced both death and divorce I can say the parallels in grieving are strong. Adding the book to my reading list.
I'm so sorry about your dad, Rashida. I appreciate you sharing about how your grief felt different than what you/others expected. I suspect this experience is more common than we know. And glad you're going to check out Maggie Smith! You'll have to let me know what you think.