I think a lot of us feel this way. I know I do. I have somehow worked to stop myself from mindlessly scrolling and increase direct attempts to seek out my friends' pages rather than rely on the algorithm or feed. I legitimately made a Keeping In Touch Google Sheet to track who I intend to be in touch with. I clearly don't know the right move, but I understand your apprehensions. It's a hellscape.
I deleted my Instagram and Facebook the day after the inauguration. It’s been amazing. The only thing I miss is following tattoo artists on Instagram. That industry has been /super/ dependent on Instagram. I hope they find a way to adapt. Otherwise, I haven’t missed anything about it. My brain feels much more at peace and creative now
Yeah, it does seem like some communities are really embedded into certain social media platforms. I keep seeing folks looking to move community groups off Facebook onto Signal or Discord, but I don't know if there are really good alternatives yet.
I've had Lady Gaga's "I live for the applause, applause, applause" running through my brain lol, which feels related... definitely with you in figuring all this out. Setting boundaries around time on socials, and also discerning which aspects of social media engagement are life-giving and which are exhausting (often, for me, IG scrolling is exhausting but reading Substacks I enjoy and connecting with ppl here is great). Also def interested in a Seattle meet-up!!
Haha yes, it's about the applause! Curious, is it easy for you to set these internal boundaries around social media? Do you have specific rules or tricks, or is that not something that's difficult for you?
Ooh good question, I think for me maybe it's mostly just trying to be aware of how it's affecting my mental health and cutting back accordingly! Often I find I'm happiest when I take mornings off from it entirely to really focus on writing / reading / whatever other projects I'm focusing on, and mostly just check/post in the afternoons. You?
I love this so much. A couple of weeks ago I talked with an acquaintance about this and we agreed there’s something really satisfying about posting a thought or an insight. And she said, ‘I asked myself, ‘does everyone really NEED to hear my profound thoughts on everything?”
A fair question, and yes, I miss not at least keeping people I never interact with in storage, of a sort.
The real truth is I left FB a couple of weeks ago because Zuckerberg is abhorrent. If there was a replacement I’d go there. As it is, I’ve kept Insta.
There's something to sharing those thoughts & insights--I feel that draw, too. Is it connection we're craving? Or a vigorous discussion, maybe? For now I'm trying to satisfy myself with adopting writing things down in a small notebook, though it's a harder habit to start than I anticipated.
I totally understand where you're coming from, but I've got a radically different take on social media. I think, like most things, the role of things like FB depend a lot on how you use them. As someone who's newly geographically isolated from all of my friends (and even former acquaintances!) via a necessary move to rural PA, and whose brain injury often makes it hard to leave the house, I find a great deal of solace in connecting with friends and family - literally hearing and seeing what they're doing via Insta and FB, etc. (Meeting in noisy, crowded places like restaurants is almost impossible now.) I would lose touch with the vast majority of people I know if I went off social media; I'm already isolated by having to quit my job as a professor (which I loved!). There's just no way to stay connected that's as effective or efficient - and the visual component is SO important to me. I know a lot of other disabled folks feel the same way - and are also worried about losing the ability to organize and communicate about stuff that's happening on the ground that isn't being reported by most news outlets. Just another perspective!
To be really clear, I very much appreciate the call to walk back one’s ego and the reminder of how social media can rot one’s intentions from the inside out! I just feel like the push to leave platforms altogether can be like trying to control disordered overeating by not keeping food in one’s house: putting on artificial external constraints instead of working to change internal orientations that aren’t serving the self. But!!! People come in all flavors and inclinations, and what works for one doesn’t work for another, so please read this with a giant shaker of salt next to you! I went on social media to be and stay connected to people, and I’ve never been pressured by anyone to use it to market myself or my work - I would probably feel very differently if I had. 🌺
That seems like an important distinction--seeking connection (and being able to tune out what doesn't nurture that goal) versus feeling pressured to "brand" oneself. I'm reading Naomi Klein's "Doppelganger" right now and she talks a lot about how pernicious this self-branding is.
I’ve been up for two hours since 4am pointlessly doom scrolling in an attempt to make sense of the world (I tell myself). I am no closer to understanding any other single person, I’m annoyed, I’m paranoid, and I’m anxious, and now I am lacking in sleep anticipating a very busy day. Your timing is all too perfect.
Oof, hard relate. My brain is always trying to convince me that knowing everything about a certain topic is going to give me some sense of control. I mainlined pandemic-related movies and books during COVID, and somehow, lockdown still sucked and went on forever? Weird!
Oh man, perfect timing! I just finished a three-week vacation during which I avoided connectivity nearly the entire time. Didn’t get a cell plan for overseas, deleted my social media apps, didn’t read the news. It felt great. I’m sitting in the airport now, reconfirming my phone and iPad to better accommodate a less-connected life. That’s how much I liked it. But when’s the next Seattle Substack meetup? I like people in real life.
Yeah, the disconnection was great. I just removed IG and Facebook, turned off all notifications on everything else, and got really vigorous with Focus Mode (so that only my kids and my mom could contact me).
I think a lot of us feel this way. I know I do. I have somehow worked to stop myself from mindlessly scrolling and increase direct attempts to seek out my friends' pages rather than rely on the algorithm or feed. I legitimately made a Keeping In Touch Google Sheet to track who I intend to be in touch with. I clearly don't know the right move, but I understand your apprehensions. It's a hellscape.
OMG a spreadsheet is, honestly, genius! If only to keep track of all the people in one's life who have said they want to get a coffee or go on a walk.
It might seem a little weird to some, but it's honestly helpful. It doesn't feel like work, but it does feel intentional.
I deleted my Instagram and Facebook the day after the inauguration. It’s been amazing. The only thing I miss is following tattoo artists on Instagram. That industry has been /super/ dependent on Instagram. I hope they find a way to adapt. Otherwise, I haven’t missed anything about it. My brain feels much more at peace and creative now
Yeah, it does seem like some communities are really embedded into certain social media platforms. I keep seeing folks looking to move community groups off Facebook onto Signal or Discord, but I don't know if there are really good alternatives yet.
I like discord a lot for community groups. There’s an app called Cara for art that I would love to see more people move to
Yess it’s great! There’s no AI allowed on the platform
I haven't heard of Cara! I'll have to check that out.
I've had Lady Gaga's "I live for the applause, applause, applause" running through my brain lol, which feels related... definitely with you in figuring all this out. Setting boundaries around time on socials, and also discerning which aspects of social media engagement are life-giving and which are exhausting (often, for me, IG scrolling is exhausting but reading Substacks I enjoy and connecting with ppl here is great). Also def interested in a Seattle meet-up!!
Haha yes, it's about the applause! Curious, is it easy for you to set these internal boundaries around social media? Do you have specific rules or tricks, or is that not something that's difficult for you?
Ooh good question, I think for me maybe it's mostly just trying to be aware of how it's affecting my mental health and cutting back accordingly! Often I find I'm happiest when I take mornings off from it entirely to really focus on writing / reading / whatever other projects I'm focusing on, and mostly just check/post in the afternoons. You?
I love this so much. A couple of weeks ago I talked with an acquaintance about this and we agreed there’s something really satisfying about posting a thought or an insight. And she said, ‘I asked myself, ‘does everyone really NEED to hear my profound thoughts on everything?”
A fair question, and yes, I miss not at least keeping people I never interact with in storage, of a sort.
The real truth is I left FB a couple of weeks ago because Zuckerberg is abhorrent. If there was a replacement I’d go there. As it is, I’ve kept Insta.
Sigh.
There's something to sharing those thoughts & insights--I feel that draw, too. Is it connection we're craving? Or a vigorous discussion, maybe? For now I'm trying to satisfy myself with adopting writing things down in a small notebook, though it's a harder habit to start than I anticipated.
But yes, boo to Zuck and his ilk.
I totally understand where you're coming from, but I've got a radically different take on social media. I think, like most things, the role of things like FB depend a lot on how you use them. As someone who's newly geographically isolated from all of my friends (and even former acquaintances!) via a necessary move to rural PA, and whose brain injury often makes it hard to leave the house, I find a great deal of solace in connecting with friends and family - literally hearing and seeing what they're doing via Insta and FB, etc. (Meeting in noisy, crowded places like restaurants is almost impossible now.) I would lose touch with the vast majority of people I know if I went off social media; I'm already isolated by having to quit my job as a professor (which I loved!). There's just no way to stay connected that's as effective or efficient - and the visual component is SO important to me. I know a lot of other disabled folks feel the same way - and are also worried about losing the ability to organize and communicate about stuff that's happening on the ground that isn't being reported by most news outlets. Just another perspective!
A very good point. Accessibility is something I overlooked here.
To be really clear, I very much appreciate the call to walk back one’s ego and the reminder of how social media can rot one’s intentions from the inside out! I just feel like the push to leave platforms altogether can be like trying to control disordered overeating by not keeping food in one’s house: putting on artificial external constraints instead of working to change internal orientations that aren’t serving the self. But!!! People come in all flavors and inclinations, and what works for one doesn’t work for another, so please read this with a giant shaker of salt next to you! I went on social media to be and stay connected to people, and I’ve never been pressured by anyone to use it to market myself or my work - I would probably feel very differently if I had. 🌺
That seems like an important distinction--seeking connection (and being able to tune out what doesn't nurture that goal) versus feeling pressured to "brand" oneself. I'm reading Naomi Klein's "Doppelganger" right now and she talks a lot about how pernicious this self-branding is.
I’ve been up for two hours since 4am pointlessly doom scrolling in an attempt to make sense of the world (I tell myself). I am no closer to understanding any other single person, I’m annoyed, I’m paranoid, and I’m anxious, and now I am lacking in sleep anticipating a very busy day. Your timing is all too perfect.
Oof, hard relate. My brain is always trying to convince me that knowing everything about a certain topic is going to give me some sense of control. I mainlined pandemic-related movies and books during COVID, and somehow, lockdown still sucked and went on forever? Weird!
Oh man, perfect timing! I just finished a three-week vacation during which I avoided connectivity nearly the entire time. Didn’t get a cell plan for overseas, deleted my social media apps, didn’t read the news. It felt great. I’m sitting in the airport now, reconfirming my phone and iPad to better accommodate a less-connected life. That’s how much I liked it. But when’s the next Seattle Substack meetup? I like people in real life.
It's so good to disconnect, isn't it? I'm curious, what settings/apps are you using to moderate your connectivity?
And yes to another meetup! Usually I wait for @livingtostayawake to organize, but I suppose I am also capable of getting the ball rolling...
Yeah, the disconnection was great. I just removed IG and Facebook, turned off all notifications on everything else, and got really vigorous with Focus Mode (so that only my kids and my mom could contact me).