Have you ever felt manipulated into apologizing for something that, in hindsight, you don’t think was actually wrong?
Of course I have. I'm human. I've been alive for years. Bound to have. And was it so bad anyway? Now lets move along and keep an eye on this in future.
How are your boundary-setting skills? Is this an area you’d like to improve?
Always room for improvement there. Always. Do it as best you can, and don't be snotty.
Would you rather spend a semester as a pajama inspector at a Christian college, or inside a makeshift confessional on the Reed campus?
Eh?
A day before reading this piece I was flicking through television channels and came across an early episode of House of Cards, where Frank Underwood turns to the camera and, speaking of his South Carolina voters, says, "My people are a proud people. They are proud of their humility." A line I fully intend to remember and at a later date pass off as my own.
I have long thought of how Christians are proud of their humility, and the denial of that conceit and vanity. "Who? Little me?" A people who believe they were created out of nothing to be what? a toy? a companion? of the creator, but yet... they are a humble people.
That the entire universe was similarly created out of nothing to give them a home, but yet... they are a humble people.
That the creator himself is content to spend HIS eternity watching his toys/companions day and night, especially keeping an eye on what they do with their genitals, but yet... they are a humble people.
A creator who not even at their death slackens his attentions... no... if they haven't shown enough gratitude for this ghastly watching and checking up they will be tossed on forks over a flame for ever... or something.
What a lot of effort. What a lot of vanity, of pride, to think this is all for them. How did they ever get to be so important!
Christians: a proud people, proud of their humility.
I think pride is one way of looking at it. I think many Christians would argue that if God is omnipotent (a big if, I know) and that God created humanity as the capstone of creation (I know, I know) that it would make sense that God would care about people's individual struggles--it's not like God would have limited capacity to know our petty squabbles.
I find both good and bad to this idea: on the one hand (as you point out) believing yourself to be the center of the universe gives one a lot of moral license, especially when you think humans have "dominion" over the earth and can trash it as much as we like. On the other hand, I do find something comforting about the idea that God would care not just about climate catastrophe and nuclear war, but about the minor ups and downs of a person's life.
I don't think I would find it comforting to believe that an entity with such a capacity for anger and revenge was watching me relentlessly. I don't see the care. I've never seen the care. I see threats and out-of-proportion punishments and an unending demand to be worshipped and thanked.
I am by far more glad than otherwise that such a being does not exist.
There's definitely a lot of evidence (both in the Bible and in the Christian culture writ large) for a wrathful, narcissistic god. It makes sense not to want such a god to watch you. If there were such a thing as a loving god (yes, ANOTHER if!) then it could be a comforting notion. But this is all hypothetical...
Nov 23, 2022·edited Nov 23, 2022Liked by Katharine Strange
We were taught to beat our imperfect selves up,all for naught. Right or wrong,were never ours to determine but were governed from afar (for it would go on our permanent record,to be reviewed ,when we no longer cared.) Boundaries set themselves,without our guidance (there but for the grace of something,may I go.) if they're crossed (see permanent record). I'd listen to the,self perceived,failings of others and wonder ,why they weren't the same as mine. As for "The Golden Rule" when quite a few folks,don't seem to love themselves,how can anyone expect them to love others.I prefer to love others ,more than myself.
Have you ever felt manipulated into apologizing for something that, in hindsight, you don’t think was actually wrong?
Of course I have. I'm human. I've been alive for years. Bound to have. And was it so bad anyway? Now lets move along and keep an eye on this in future.
How are your boundary-setting skills? Is this an area you’d like to improve?
Always room for improvement there. Always. Do it as best you can, and don't be snotty.
Would you rather spend a semester as a pajama inspector at a Christian college, or inside a makeshift confessional on the Reed campus?
Eh?
A day before reading this piece I was flicking through television channels and came across an early episode of House of Cards, where Frank Underwood turns to the camera and, speaking of his South Carolina voters, says, "My people are a proud people. They are proud of their humility." A line I fully intend to remember and at a later date pass off as my own.
I have long thought of how Christians are proud of their humility, and the denial of that conceit and vanity. "Who? Little me?" A people who believe they were created out of nothing to be what? a toy? a companion? of the creator, but yet... they are a humble people.
That the entire universe was similarly created out of nothing to give them a home, but yet... they are a humble people.
That the creator himself is content to spend HIS eternity watching his toys/companions day and night, especially keeping an eye on what they do with their genitals, but yet... they are a humble people.
A creator who not even at their death slackens his attentions... no... if they haven't shown enough gratitude for this ghastly watching and checking up they will be tossed on forks over a flame for ever... or something.
What a lot of effort. What a lot of vanity, of pride, to think this is all for them. How did they ever get to be so important!
Christians: a proud people, proud of their humility.
I think pride is one way of looking at it. I think many Christians would argue that if God is omnipotent (a big if, I know) and that God created humanity as the capstone of creation (I know, I know) that it would make sense that God would care about people's individual struggles--it's not like God would have limited capacity to know our petty squabbles.
I find both good and bad to this idea: on the one hand (as you point out) believing yourself to be the center of the universe gives one a lot of moral license, especially when you think humans have "dominion" over the earth and can trash it as much as we like. On the other hand, I do find something comforting about the idea that God would care not just about climate catastrophe and nuclear war, but about the minor ups and downs of a person's life.
Hmmm. There are a few if's in there.
I don't think I would find it comforting to believe that an entity with such a capacity for anger and revenge was watching me relentlessly. I don't see the care. I've never seen the care. I see threats and out-of-proportion punishments and an unending demand to be worshipped and thanked.
I am by far more glad than otherwise that such a being does not exist.
There's definitely a lot of evidence (both in the Bible and in the Christian culture writ large) for a wrathful, narcissistic god. It makes sense not to want such a god to watch you. If there were such a thing as a loving god (yes, ANOTHER if!) then it could be a comforting notion. But this is all hypothetical...
We were taught to beat our imperfect selves up,all for naught. Right or wrong,were never ours to determine but were governed from afar (for it would go on our permanent record,to be reviewed ,when we no longer cared.) Boundaries set themselves,without our guidance (there but for the grace of something,may I go.) if they're crossed (see permanent record). I'd listen to the,self perceived,failings of others and wonder ,why they weren't the same as mine. As for "The Golden Rule" when quite a few folks,don't seem to love themselves,how can anyone expect them to love others.I prefer to love others ,more than myself.
a lot of good points here. I think not loving oneself and not having boundaries that originate inside oneself is a big part of the problem.
I think I would like to be a pajama inpector, but only for the men’s dorm.
LOL
I'm not a Christian, but I appreciate this stuff. And great writing as well. Thank you, Katy.