This is one of the hardest parenting tasks. I had to talk to my kid TWICE last week and I was so sweaty and experienced the whole roller coaster of feelings. One of the incidents was between them and a close family friend so I was exchanging texts with the mom (my close friend) and that was hard too!! Whew. But we got through it and it really is true that the relationship is stronger on the other side.
Good job. I've been surprised at the number of times I've had to reach out to a parent about their kid's behavior and they've flat out denied the behavior happened or minimized the event! Apologizing is HARD but it's a lot better in the long run
Hey, really nicely done. I have a lot of experience with apologizing, but the word repentance never really crept into my thinking about my wrongs, probably because of my antipathy to religious overtones. BUT, I’ve always had a hard time apologizing when I knew that I wasn’t quite ready to or able to give up the behavior I was apologizing for. I tend to want to let my behavior (or the absence of offending behavior) be the thing that shows I accept that it was wrong. Let me show you, not tell you. But I also think I grew up seeing spoken apologies as kind of a sham, as my father took not practicing what he preached to a high level!
Anyway, if the bar is “you made me think,” you nailed it!
Yes, I think our culture sees "apology" as the end goal and pushes us there even when we don't necessarily feel it. This does lead to a lot of sham apologies. It sounds like you were doing some of the work of "repentance" without the label?
This is one of the hardest parenting tasks. I had to talk to my kid TWICE last week and I was so sweaty and experienced the whole roller coaster of feelings. One of the incidents was between them and a close family friend so I was exchanging texts with the mom (my close friend) and that was hard too!! Whew. But we got through it and it really is true that the relationship is stronger on the other side.
Good job. I've been surprised at the number of times I've had to reach out to a parent about their kid's behavior and they've flat out denied the behavior happened or minimized the event! Apologizing is HARD but it's a lot better in the long run
What a good lesson for your son :)
Have you read Geraldine DeRuiter's response to the cinnamon roll apology? It's amazing.
https://www.everywhereist.com/2018/01/i-made-the-pizza-cinnamon-rolls-from-mario-batalis-sexual-misconduct-apology-letter/
I can’t wait to read this 😆
Yikes, that was … sharp. In a good way.
"I hate them, but I keep eating them. Like I’m somehow destroying Batali’s shitty sexist horcrux in every bite."
OMG I love this
I think she won a James Beard for the essay :) I love it too
Hey, really nicely done. I have a lot of experience with apologizing, but the word repentance never really crept into my thinking about my wrongs, probably because of my antipathy to religious overtones. BUT, I’ve always had a hard time apologizing when I knew that I wasn’t quite ready to or able to give up the behavior I was apologizing for. I tend to want to let my behavior (or the absence of offending behavior) be the thing that shows I accept that it was wrong. Let me show you, not tell you. But I also think I grew up seeing spoken apologies as kind of a sham, as my father took not practicing what he preached to a high level!
Anyway, if the bar is “you made me think,” you nailed it!
Yes, I think our culture sees "apology" as the end goal and pushes us there even when we don't necessarily feel it. This does lead to a lot of sham apologies. It sounds like you were doing some of the work of "repentance" without the label?
Yeah, I think you’re about right on both accounts.