Labels: The Pillow That Smothers?
Do Beliefs Matter? part one
Last week I visited a friend who lives in southern Utah. He’s an artist and a bartender, and part of his town’s non-Mormon minority. Keep in mind, Utah is a state where you can’t buy wine in the grocery store and local TV is flooded with LDS propaganda. The vibe was not a theocracy, but open to the idea.
In light of all this, I asked my friend whether it was hard to find community. He said it was, but that, after several years, he’s cobbled together a group of like-minded artists. One of the hardest aspects, he confided, was the strength of the LDS network when it came to business—many of his fellow Utahns only wanted to hire other Mormons.
I empathized with him. Mormons aren’t the only ones who do this—the mainline protestant church I attended as a kid put out a business directory along with the standard-issue address/phone directory. When my family needed a new doctor, dentist, mechanic or contractor, we’d page through it; the implication being these are the people you can trust.
It’s human nature to form ingroups. Our ancestors likely lived in small bands of no larger than 150 people. In such groups, it’s possible for each person to know everyone else in the group. If someone regularly took more than their fair share of mastodon, you’d know. As human civilization changed from roaming hunter-gatherer bands to agriculturally based, and then to gathering into cities and nations, we had to rapidly expand our brains’ capacity to judge whether others were friend or foe. Some anthropologists surmise that religion, and particularly monotheism, was the engine that enabled this change. I might not know a particular merchant, but if I know we both believe in an all-seeing god who punishes dishonesty, I can be more confident that I’ll get a fair price.
Labels are a shortcut, but they come at a price. How many abuse scandals have churches endured, certain that one of their own could not possibly be a sexual predator? And while the true crime industrial complex loves to chill us with grisly stories of serial killers, women are three times as likely to be killed by a spouse than a stranger.
At a national level, many voters seem more motivated by spite towards the outgroup than their own self-interest. This spite festers on cable news and late night, where even skilled satirists like Stephen Colbert have traded in carefully crafted bits for clumsy insults, cheered on by their ingroup audiences. If we are to avoid another Trump presidency, it won’t be because we sneered MAGA voters into submission.
Jeering at the opposing team is the interpersonal equivalent of eating an entire cake in one sitting: short-term pleasure, long-term pain. Reducing human beings to a single variable, whether it’s their location on Sunday morning or their vote, is dehumanizing. People are complex; if we can engage each other nondefensively, we will find common values.
While I once clung to the label of “Christian,” I find that nowadays I have more in common with atheists and agnostics. Because the category of “belief” isn’t as important to me as the process it took to get there. I’d rather have a conversation with someone who’s changed their mind about god than with a stalwart any day—party lines just aren’t that interesting. So here’s the good/bad news: labels just aren’t very useful information. You still have to take the time to get to know people. And when you do, you’ll be surprised.
What labels feel the most important to you? What beliefs about the “opposing team” feel the hardest for you to uproot? Why do you think that is?
Bonus Materials:
A 90-second video explaining ingroups, outgroups, and ethics
A vote predictor tool based on your identity. Apparently, as a college-educated urban bisexual, I’m 83% in the tank for Biden
If you’re curious about Mormon fundamentalism (and who doesn’t love a good cult?) check out this podcast
The concept of labels,is one that I attempt to avoid.They are a way of "pigeon holing" things and I do not feel that this is valid,where people are involved.Other than,within myself,it's not my job.Folks are born,raised and beleaguered into accepting a fantasy as reality.I may change what some folks think,but it is beyond my desire and ability,to change how they feel.
I'm not surprised about what happened to your friend. I have several friends who lived in LDS communities and their experiences were the same. You were either labelled "one of us" or you were labelled a "Gentile". Once one is into labelling, then there is a tendency to look down on any non-members. A lot of this is related to the belief that one's religion is the "one and only true" religion or in the case of Mormons, the "restored" religion. I find, however, that religions that are less dogmatic are less likely to label other people. By the way, many thanks for the great podcast recommendation (Unfinished Short Creek)!